Loneliness

Have you ever had many people in your life but still feel all alone? I do, I feel this way all the time. I have a family who loves me I have friends who love me and yet I feel alone. I have never had a romantic relationship; I've never had a boyfriend, never really had anyone who was in love with me. When I think about it I wonder why it bothers me so much. People are happy being single so why can't I be, I have people in my life who care about me so I'm not really alone... but I think it's something different. We are here to live and love and thrive, without love life is an empty place. I am happy with my life, but I know something is missing and I understand that a man isn't going to suddenly make my life better. But I do think that the love of another person would make my life better. Loneliness is a funny thing, we can feel it when we are surrounded by people or when we are all alone. And I think that the sadness that people feel would be more understandable if they were all alone instead of surrounded by people. Because in our minds this doesn't make sense, but somehow we still feel it and it feels wrong. I have cried myself to sleep many nights thinking about the loneliness I feel and telling myself that its stupid to feel that way. I tell myself that I am not alone and yet somewhere inside of me I still feel it, and that loneliness isn't due to a lack of people who love me but a lack of someone specific who is in love with me. I think it's this exact feeling that causes so many people to take their own lives, because they feel all alone even when there are people who love them. I don't condone suicide and even though I once contemplated suicide I now realize how selfish of an act it is. As lonely as I feel I know that people still love me and they would be hurt if I was gone, so instead of thinking of only my own unhappiness I think about the unhappiness of others if I was no longer around. I think that when we feel all alone we need to take a step back and look at the world, there are so many people out there who are just as lonely as you and realize that you are never alone in the way you feel. We are all human, we crave love and belonging and we are all in the same boat together.